Who’s the donor?
I’ve lost track of the number of times we’ve been asked this! And to be completely honest, I love the question.
H and I have spent countless hours talking through our options. Should we ask a friend? Should we find a donor? Should the donor be open to contact? Should it be an anonymous donor? The questions and conversations go on for hours.
H and I have also been approached by men who would LOVE to be the donor, but there’s a catch (if you catch my drift – gentlemen, please keep it to yourself) I roll my eyes and move on!
After months of discussions and one morning of an extra shot of caffeine (confidence booster) I reached out via email to a distant friend of the family and asked if he would be interested. Weeks went by. Silence.
In the mean time H and I talked in depth to family and friends about the pros and cons of knowing the donor. It was great in the sense of having full insight to personalities, family up bringing, and that we would have a huge village to raise a babe. We also really liked the idea of a potential introduction happening when babe is ready and not having to wait until they were 18. On the flip side H and I worried about there being too close of a connection and that there could be a request for “dad”. We also didn’t want to put individuals close to the family in uncomfortable legal situations having to sign over parental rights.
About a month went by before I heard back about my email. It was exciting to read and overall very emotional. To sum it up, he would want to be involved because he already felt a connection. Respectfully, he opened up about the possibility of seeing himself in a babe and ultimately wanting to be a dad. After a few conversations H and I agreed we would feel much more comfortable in selecting a donor from a well known cryobank. And off we went searching for a donor for baby greggy.
Searching for a donor was interesting, best compared to flipping through Facebook or a dating website. In Oregon, you are only allowed 1 baby photo, detailed health history reports, and a voice recording. After texting photos back and forth, joking about holding a “pick the donor” party, and diving deep into 2nd & 3rd generation health records it was narrowed down to 3 gentlemen. H and I then found ourselves focusing on the reason behind each individual wanting to be a donor. There was 1 clear choice and boom we had our donor.
Our ultimate goal is to have the same donor for all of our babes. It is of utmost importance that our little ones are related by blood, which in turn brings H and I closer together. We will continue to invest in 1 attempt at a time, but the second we are in the clear with being pregnant you better bet we will be adding a storage fee to our monthly budget so we can have a safe home for all of our future baby greggys!